When you say you don't mean sex, you do mean sex right? You have to mean sex right? Because you're a mum now and you need to multitask and sex covers a lot of bases (if you're lucky). It can be one of the fastest ways to reconnect with the person you were before a small human cannonballed head first into your placid coupledom. Sex is one of the few things you'll do in exactly the same way as you did pre baby; it's a double rollover, jackpot of connection, intimacy, support and cardio in twenty minutes, sometimes ten.
So if I assume that what you're really asking is when do we get to have sex, this is what I'd say - Any. Time. You. Can. Not helpful? *shrugs*. What I'm saying is forget about the times you leisurely undertook intimate encounters with your other half. No one wants to get up before a baby wakes to do something that might lead to another darn baby!
Go for it as soon as the baby goes to sleep at night. This is commonly experienced as the mummy power hour. You will be so elated that you have time to yourself you can probably work up the enthusiasm! And it also gives your spouse a positive sense of urgency e.g. I can't wait for you to get home as opposed to I can't wait another thirty minutes before I fall asleep.
Alternatively there's the middle of the night. Sounds counter-intuitive but you have to be up anyway!? And you know you can get some more sleep after. Job done.
I suppose there's a chance you didn't mean sex, that you and your other half are living it up 50 shades style and you actually want to know about how to get some more quality time together. To that I say, get outta here, go trouble someone else with your 'problems'.
Seriously, consider yourself lucky before you drown in your own hot tub of negativity, but if this quality time thing is really troubling you, it's all about planning. Did you know Barack Obama only wears blue or gray suits. Not coz he's cheap - he wants to limit the amount of decisions he makes in a day. Decision fatigue is a legit business and you don't need any more fatigue. Quality time is not about when you do it, but having exactly the right activity lined up for when the time is right. Have a great bottle of wine, a boxset you've been dying to watch or a board game you both love at the ready so if you find yourselves together and awake you've got your date night planned and you don't spend the whole evening channel surfing and bickering. Unless, of course, that's what you're into.