|Hand Mirror by The Italian Voice|
Great question! It really is a powerful journey. For me it was like going out on the best night ever - Beyonce on decks, free food and drink, snogging the hottest guy there* and waking up the next day happy and hungover. And then the hangover never ends. For anyone still working through the change, here are my tips:
ACKNOWLEDGE IT If you acknowledge it you've completed the most powerful step. A lot of people go into the process of parenting thinking they'll come out exactly the same person with motherhood added to their portfolio. I confess I thought others had been exaggerating slightly on the whole life changing element of parenthood. Emigrating is life changing, bowl you over romance is life changing, a Dermologica microfoliant facial is life changing. People have children literally every day, it couldn't really be that dramatic?
After nearly two years I am still nothing like the pre baby me. Of course there are similarities - we both hate getting up in the morning, we're both terribly clumsy and we both love a well mixed magarita but they're still different women. The pre baby you has gone. Take her to lunch in her favourite restaurant; raise a glass to her. Say goodbye.
EMBRACE IT When I got married a few of my more feminist minded friends voiced some disapproval about the fact that I was taking my husband's last name. I had my stock answer ready - the wish for unity, my husband's established career, but in reality I just wanted the opportunity to be someone different. You see Miss Campbell was cool but Mrs Allcott? She was gonna kick butt and take names. Being able to shrug off an identity and slip on another can be so liberating. Rather than seeing motherhood as stripping you of your identity, see it as a sexy burlesque routine, revealing the amazing rhinestone covered mother you are!
PERFECT IT New identities require some practice. You've really got to move around in it to enjoy the new skin you're in. What does Mum you wear? Not a wardobe of clothes that don't fit but chic comfortable outfits with a nod to her former style. Enjoy trawling fashion blogs to find her new look. What does she eat? Perhaps she used to grab supermarket sandwiches and now she preps big family dinners and eats leftovers for lunch. How does she spend her time? Does she bake? Does she craft? Does she take long walks? She sounds fab! I know you'll enjoy getting to know her.
This question came from the very witty Becky, who writes at Stupidgirl45. She's a great connector so make sure you stop by and say hello.
If you have any ideas about how to deal with the identity shift that comes with parenthood please leave them in the comments. If you're a blogger and you'd like to link up with The Moderate Mum please email me at email@example.com
*my husband obviously!