STYLING PROJECT When I was a girl my mum got me a doll, actually it was just disembodied head with a vacant stare and a head of beautiful, golden hair. I loved her. I immediately set about giving her a very up to the minute eighties mullet and then sadly my fun was over. Now I have a doll with hair that grows back! And feet that need shoes! And tiny ears that need covering with comedy hats. Life is good.
BECOMING A MORNING PERSON I've always wanted to be someone that starts the day, well, at the start of the day. No matter how many techniques I used I couldn't get up with that darn lark. Genuine things I have missed because I was snoozing: a minibreak, an earthquake and an eclipse of the sun. Now I'm responsible for a human alarm clock I get up first thing nearly every day! I feel so productive! Or I would if I wasn't so flippin' tired.
INSTANT ACHIEVEMENT I've never been one for competitions or challenges, seriously I just crack under the pressure. I've failed four driving tests, basically because the word test instantly reduces me to rice pudding. As a consequence my trophy drawer is pretty empty. The wonderful thing about becoming a mother is that you get tons of back pats for minimal effort. The whole baby growing thing was really passive and as for child rearing, trust me my son runs the show.
PART OF THE CLUB There is something beautiful about recognition from someone in your tribe. With an increasingly mobile society it can be tough to foster that cosy, everyone knows everyone's business sense of community. When I became a mother it didn't take me long to realise that other mothers could see me, I mean really see me - recognise the madness behind my exhausted eyes. I love that wry smile we throw each other as we wrestle the buggy down the high street, it's like when Mini drivers honk at each other but maybe less cool.
PERMA EXCUSE When you have a kid, you don't have to do ANYTHING. It's awsome. Don't wanna go to your wedding? My kid can't travel. Don't wanna take your call? The baby won't sleep. You don't even have to lay it on thick, just mention 'my kid' and everyone backs away with their hands in the air. Your child free friends won't question you and the ones that have children must know you're lying but if they admit it, what excuse will they use?
If mothering ever gets tough, I remember these five facts and it keeps me going 'til bathtime. What unexpected joys did you find in parenting?