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| Roscoe striking a pose |
My mum worked full time and so did my dad. We didn’t have
grandparents close by so with a busy household my mum had a lot to do and only the scant weekend hours in which to do them. Mum, ever the
multitasker, did a lot of her parenting on the go. By this I mean she got on
with her life and took us kids along for the ride. One important aspect of her
life was, and still is, being immaculately turned out. This meant a lot of
time shopping. There was no online and for any of my younger readers the 80’s
meant none of this individual changing room business but one big space with multiple
mirrors and much knicker flashing. I spent a lot of time sat cross legged in
the corner of communal changing rooms, whilst my mum sought the perfect party
dress or work outfit and these were my lessons:
LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT – Parents can be prone
to a spot of martyrdom. Somewhere along the line we get the memo that parents
must be selfless and then we feel guilty if we so much as sneeze without
considering the impact on our children. The truth is if your child never sees
you doing anything for yourself they learn that self-care isn’t important and
they don’t discover how to make themselves happy.
EDUCATION IS EVERYWHERE – One of the advantages of taking a
small child shopping is that you have your own errand service. It might have seemed
like I was just being sent to change the red one for a size twelve but actually
I was employing observation and memory skills.
Also there’s never a wrong time for an impromptu spelling test.
DON’T BE ASHAMED OF YOUR BODY – As I mentioned the changing
rooms of the 80’s were just that – rooms full of changing women. You really had
no choice but to strip in front of several other people. There was little point
being self-conscious about it because it had to be done. I guess the fact that
it was a necessity and that everyone was in the same boat stopped people
getting embarrassed about it. I never saw my mother trying to hide or
commenting negatively about herself. Now I’m not saying we should find
opportunities to disrobe in front of our children but I’m saying that when they
arise – at the swimming pool or on the beach, we want them to believe that
everyone has a right to flash a bit of flesh out if they so choose.
WOMEN ARE SUPPORTIVE – Mum was always asking other women if
what they thought of the colour of her dress or the length of her trousers and
was happy to give her own opinion on whatever her changing room buddy had
chosen. I never heard more compliments thrown about then when I was in that
changing room corner. Perhaps it’s easier
to say nice things to strangers than those we know and love but the changing rooms
were full of supportive sistas.
WEAR NICE PANTS – When there’s a chance that you might have
to get undressed in front of someone you wear nice pants but even if you’re
fairly sure that the only person seeing those kecks will be you, it’s great to
start the day with the right foundation.
I’m lucky enough to be able to spend less time working
outside the home than my mother but I’ve still embraced the lesson that
children need to see parents live!
To celebrate my wonderful mum and the launch of my free webinar, ‘The Lost Art of Stay at Home Parenting’ I’m giving away a £25 voucher (UK only) for one of her
favourite shopping haunts, M&S. Please enter below, anyone can
enter or attend the webinar and you don’t have to be a stay at home parent to get
some top parenting tips from the event.
I love everything about this post! Yes to the lost art of actually going into a shop and of promoting self care and positive body image.
ReplyDeleteI for one HATED going clothes shopping, particularly early Saturday morning trips to Fonthill Road, north London where there were no toy shops or anything remotely interesting for a 10 year old.
Your webinar sounds brilliant. I'm not a stay at home mum but would love to make better use of my time when I am at home so will join it. xx
Thanks so much! Ha ha Saturday morning was such a drag - chores and being dragged round shops. Kids these days don't know they're born ;) x
DeleteGood lessons learnt, hey!.
ReplyDeleteMy take away point: Self care is important and I need to consider how to show my child this. I'm all for learning on the go too. All the best with your webinar! :-) #wineandboobs
Many thanks! I don't usually agree with multitasking but parenting is something that can be done at all times x
DeleteI remember the communal changing rooms, my auntie was a shopaholic and would often take me as a child. I think what you say about looking after yourself is spot on. Children need to learn that it is important to look after yourself, and what better way than seeing a parent doing it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a great point about not being ashamed of your body, I can remember seeing women of all shapes and sizes in those changing room and no one really cared, if only people were still like that!x
Yay! Cool auntie :) I often think that mothers forget that children learn by observation. I want my son to see me relaxing with a book, taking pride in my appearance, enjoying myself so that he knows I'm much more than mum x
DeleteMy Mum (over fifty years ago) never seemed to mind communal changing rooms. She always used to say "it would be a sad world if we all looked the same". She is 82 now and still thinks the same way!
ReplyDeleteI love that attitude, how sad would it be if were all identical cardboard cut outs!
DeleteInspirational post- I need to care less! Thanks for linking up to #babybrainmonday. I've entered the comp too :) x
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! I think caring's good as long as you're living up to your own standards and not anyone else's! X
DeleteI so remember the Topshop Oxford Street communal changing rooms in the 80s. What a different time we live in. Everyone determined to present perfection to the world (IRL and online). It's all quite destructive. I care about my appearance and enjoy dressing up, but in my body lovely lady bumps and all. Great post as always Yx
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm sure every generation says it but the images presented appear to be more and more unobtainable. How strange that we've never had more access into peoples lives and yet we see less truth x
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