|Photo by Tom Trapive http://on.fb.me/1fRAPvl|
This post goes out to all the parents thinking about another. I know it's crossed your mind. Perhaps someone handed you their plump, placid baby and you've held them gently as you watched your toddler try and scale the curtains. Perhaps you recognise all the ridiculously terrible decisions you've made with the first one and want a second shot. I'm here to say stop the late night debates with your partner; stop asking friend's opinion and googling 'life with three kids'. You've got to go with your gut because here's six reasons why having children makes no sense:
TIME IS MONEY Whilst the internet has brought about many positive things, no amount of cat videos can make up for the fact that for a lot of information workers the internet means the ability to work twenty four hours a day. Time is money and kids suck time, particularly time when you should be sleeping. It doesn't matter how much harder you work to compensate, there will always be some sucker willing to work longer. A step into parenthood is a step outta the game.
YOUTH IS POWER In today's society we place a high value on youth and beauty, please don't try and tell me otherwise when Kim Kardashian earned nearly 20 million pounds last year. Children suck the life out of you. It was only after having my son that I realised that when people say having kids turned their hair grey, they meant LITERALLY. Don't talk to me about wisdom, you don't need wisdom when you have google.
KIDS COST I can't tell you how many times I've had a conversation with a parent who's told me that their entire wage goes on childcare or the stay at home parent variation of 'I'd work but all my money would go on childcare'. I don't think anyone begrudges paying for their children to be looked after, no one wants bargain basement childcare but really when you imagine having another child, picture a tot just pulling notes from your wallet and ripping them up in their pudgy little fingers.
THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER The world has become so small, with enough time and money you can explore the furthest reaches of this beautiful earth. As we've already explored kids tap into both of these precious resources and they seriously impede opportunities for amazon trekking, mountain climbing, tequila slamming good times. Having a child is a wonderful experience but so is sipping a mai tai on a white, sandy beach at sunset. Just sayin'.
BYE GRANDMA With travel being so common it's very likely your kids will leave you before you really start reaping back the benefits. Back in the day you'd all stay in the same village and you could guarantee at least one kid might like you enough to keep you in Wethers. Now they're hot to trot before you can say Ibiza Uncovered.
In short the only reason you should have another baby is because you are inexplicably, uncontrollably, viscerally compelled to do so - anything else is madness.
Why Having Children Makes No Sense
Monday, 31 August 2015