If I stare at the laundry with a "look that could kill" will it go away? #MumProblems #ParentProblems— Julie's Notebook (@JuliesNB) September 9, 2015
When I saw this tweet I had to ask Julie if I could use it because I had asked myself this question or perhaps more honestly - if I ignore the laundry long enough, will it go away. The answer for anyone still searching is catergorically, no. The tale of Charlene and the laundry is a sad but triumphant one. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.
Once there was a girl she lived in a little house with a creaky gate and a cranky cat. She had a modest wardrobe. Just half of an average sized closet, okay three quarters. She had two pairs of jeans, maybe three proper frocks and a not unreasonable collection of shoes. The girl had a husband that liked to wear navy cords. Everyday he wore cords, she couldn't swear they weren't the same pair of cords. The girl and her husband had a lovely life - they worked hard, had drinks with friends and did washing once a week and then one day, when the moon was waning, they had a little baby and s**t got real.
The baby was very small. Small even by baby standards and yet the couple found that as if by magic their washing grew greater each day. The baby wore the tiniest of socks and titchy little vests but still the basket overflowed. The girl could not understand but try as she might the washing was never done. One day she fell to the floor, piles and piles around her. How will I keep up?! She cried. She closed her eyes and held her breath and wished for someone to help her and when she opened her eyes...nothing had happened. So this is what she did.
Unclog the system I got rid of everything that would get stuck in the system - everyday items that need dry cleaning; white tops that stain within thirty seconds of wearing; pleaty things that take two days to iron. I refused to let them hold me back any longer.
End the separation I'm sorry, I know this is going to make some of you feel deeply uncomfortable but I just stopped separating. I'm trying to do my best for the planet and I mainly wash on a lowish heat; very rarely does it cause drama. The odd occasion that it goes wrong is worth the energy it would take to separate my washing. Life's too short to stress about a hint of pink.
Set the programme We now have a strict system for the processing of laundry in our house. Dirty clothes go from the body into the washing machine. No chance of getting held up by a third party. When the machine is full we do the wash. We put the machine on last thing at night and then empty the drum first thing in the morning. I no longer have to work up the motivation to do washing because one event simply triggers another - I have to put the machine on because the machine is full and I have to empty the machine because otherwise I'll have nowhere to put my dirty clothes.
Bigger is not better If you're not ready for the maverick laundry lifestyle I've adopted, I'd recommend getting a small laundry basket. In fact a laundry bag is ideal and nothing that holds more than a load. Huge laundry baskets lull you into a false sense of security - la, la, la I don't have to do washing and then BOOM, three weeks of dirty clothes. Don't hide behind your basket - set that washing free.
Thanks Julie for letting me share your tweet! Julie blogs over at Julie's Notebook, please say hi! Laundry is the dirty secret that all families battle with. If you have any washing tips, I'd love to hear them.