Advice from the Heart - 13/10/2015


I firmly believe that everybody has a parenting sweet spot. For some it's the teenage years - these parents are just gifted at defusing tense situations and know how to tactfully guide hormone-riddled adolescents to the safe haven of adulthood. Others love the primary school years (learning to read!). Some live for toddlers (so cute!).

Well, my parenting sweet spot lies firmly in the newborn phase.

Shocking, I know! Aren't mothers of newborns supposed to be quivering anxious wrecks, bordering on post-natal depression with dripping, bleeding nipples, bags under their eyes and unwashed hair?

Well, except for the bleeding nipples and unwashed hair my first year with baby boy was bliss. I loved it. Although it was difficult at times, it was also delightfully simple. It was so very very clear what my baby needed even if it was sometimes difficult to give: basically, he wanted to be fed, changed and held close to me or my husband. That was it.

Now I suddenly have a toddler on my hands. And I'm terrified. His needs and wants definitely no longer coincide. His second spoken word is "Nah" and yes, it means No. He has an opinion and a strong little personality.

I'm loving all the interaction but am appalled at the sudden complexity to our relationship. Sometimes he needs mummy desperately. Then he sends me away. Did I do something wrong or is he learning independence? When everything is "Nah", I wonder if I say No too much. Or maybe not enough. Is he not eating because he's upset or because he's having fun exercising his willpower? 

You see where I'm coming from when I said newborns were simple?

All in all, I guess we're muddling through okay but if anyone has any advice for this phase, please (please please) link up below. Since my forte seem to be the generally unpopular stages of childhood, I'm hoping my sweet spot will come around again and the terrible twos will be a doddle. You can't help but hope, right?


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photo credit: EtchyHeart via photopin (license)

5 comments

  1. I've linked up with some potty training "advice" (horror stories)... Sorry, for me it's all about surviving the toddler years with my sanity in tact so no real help! Good luck x #fromtheheart

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  2. Oh hun, I don't know if it's a sweet spot stage or just a sweet spot at a certain part of the stage, if you catch my drift? What I mean to say is, newborns are scary when you're first starting out but after a month or so you get into the swing of it. You begin to think you've got this parenting thing down. Then comes toddler stage... oh the tantrums can certainly scare, and so can the little person with their demands and moods, but eventually you get into the swing of that too. Admittedly it's harder to predict what time they'll want to eat, or poop, or heck, anything really but you can marvel at your child growing their own little personality. Then comes primary school, learning to read, making (and breaking with) friends, after-school clubs, and exams. I'm at this stage with LP and love it. He loves learning to read and his enthusiasm for school is brilliant. However this stage with BP was difficult too. BP is much more of a loner so didn't have many friends, often there would be tears about it. BP is now in High School and teenage-dom is looming. We have more mood swings and tantrums, he's struggling to cope with the hormones. But he's growing into a wonderful young man. I KNOW that we each hit a sweet spot within each stage, it's just getting there that's the issue. Sending love. xxx

    PS: sorry for the epic comment!

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    Replies
    1. Your epicness is always welcome Morgan x

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  3. You will survive! Watching them develop their personalities and interact with the world is really interesting. But also challenging as the people they're with most are family

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