Mission Acceptance - Accept Five Minutes Peace

It's bit of a mummy mantra - I just want five minutes peace. I've written previously about how much I value solitude and this mission was about making time for something I value. My challenge this week was to spend five minutes each day meditating. No rules other than to sit, be and try not to scratch any itches. 

I've been toying with starting a meditation practise for fifteen years. At university I attended a meditation club - half a dozen introverted, young men, favouring a post goth aesthetic, sat in a small circle in a draughty church hall. Having never meditated before I asked them how it was done (meditation was not big in South London). I was told, 'You just sit'. We sat for seventy two days...Actually it was about fifteen minutes but man did each minute count! At the end I felt like that chick Cheryl Strayed. I wasn't sure how I had survived such an uncomfortable period of time. When I explained to the boys how hard it had been they looked perplexed; how could sitting in silence be such a hardship? I never returned. 

Over the years I kept going back to meditation in a theoretical sense. I learned that it could actually change the structure of your brain. Meditation would make me a calmer, healthier, less impulsive person - never had it seemed I could gain so much from so little. Of course I never actually did it, so I will never know. 

On day one of this challenge I didn't even think about meditating and on day two I thought about meditating and what I thought was, ugh. On day three I totally planned to meditate after dinner but then I had some work to do and the kid was a pain and basically I was too stressed to meditate, that's a thing right? 

So I got up this morning and I had done precisely no meditation IN A WEEK and I thought to myself, I will meditate for half an hour and I will make up all the time and I will write about how the smallest things are the hardest to start and then I thought - this is bullcrap of the highest order. 

I want to be a person that meditates but I don't want to meditate. And that's okay. Mission Acceptance is about embracing who I am and that is someone that does not want to meditate and whilst I might be happier if I did it, I certainly won't be happier if I stress about getting it done for the rest of my life. So I'm shelving the zen for now and although I failed in spectacular fashion I did gain something - an amazing mission for next week...


If you want to join Mission Acceptance and find out what my next challenge is, I'll be sending out the details on Monday night instead of Sunday, so there's time to sign up! 

February is blogger month on The Moderate Mum! If you're a blogger or similar student of creativity, head over here on Tuesdays for advice and inspiration and there will be a competition EVERY SUNDAY to win a awesome blogger related prize! 


Run Jump Scrap!A Bit Of EverythingKeep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows


21 comments

  1. I completely agree, it's small changes that can be so hard! I'd love to read a book, just a page or two a day, but can I manage? No. I blog, I read blogs, I comment and I don't stop two minutes before or after to just read that book! #fartglitter

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    1. I was really lost without books for the two years after I had my boy. When I went back to work the commute was one of the things I was most looking forward to :)

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  2. I agree with New Mummy! I need to read more and I never do! Mediating is brilliant and sometimes hubby and I do some in the evenings but the habit never lasts!!! x#fartglitter

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    1. That's lovely that you do it together. My husband and I sometimes do a form of meditation together, commonly called napping.

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  3. I do life drawing - two hours where I concentrate on the proportions and form of another human and try to represent it in 2 dimensions. I don't know if this is meditative, per se, but I find that this is time where I do not think about anything other than the task in hand. It is incredibly rewarding to my soul. Maybe that is a way in to meditation?
    Or you could colour in. Apparently people find that helps with mindfulness?
    x A
    #fartglitter

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    1. My husband just bought me a colouring book! Will give it a try.

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  4. I too am so similar to you, in that over the years (not an exageration) I have been meaning to and wanting to meditate. Somehow though, it has never quite happened. For reasons similar to the ones you described experiencing. I love how you've accepted this and moved on, and maybe I should thinking about doing the same ;-). Emily #KCACOLS

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    1. Maybe it's time to let it go - you can't get more zen than that ;)

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  5. It is so hard to fit in the things you want to do. I also never get to read and I read a few books a week before children! I did really chuckle at the irony of the intention to meditate stressing you out! ;) #KCACOLS

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  6. Haha, I've tried and failed at meditating. I cannot keep my mind from wandering. It's an impossibility for me. Never mind :-)

    #fartglitter

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    1. It's okay for your mind to wander you're supposed to just 'notice' it....

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  7. I've only tried it once,unfortunately I couldn't switch off.Too busy thinking about what was for tea and who's making that awful racket? x #kcacols

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  8. I try and find somewhere to hide just so I can take some time out and clear my mind.

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    1. Good plan! I think all parents have their little hiding spot.

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  9. Yes and yes...I have tried meditation and there are good days and days when I don't even know where my mind has wandered off. It is about embracing who you are and not worrying about who you think you should be - well said. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

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  10. I've tried and failed at the meditation. People rave about it and I so wanted to do it but couldn't. Yoga is my thing though and I absolutely love it. #bestandworst

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  11. This is so me! I have been googling meditation classes only this week! But that's as far as I got. I totally believe it's good for you and has all these benefits. But I just can't be bothered. Thanks for sharing on #bestandworst - it's nice to know I'm not the only one! xx

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  12. Oh my goodness me it really does sound like you did the right thing by shelving it. Cause it sounds like it was really starting to stress you out trying to find time to meditate. Xx #KCACOLS

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  13. I reckon I should try a bit of mediattion, Sarah who is the co-host for the #bestandworst linky swears by it to chill out! Thanks for linking up, see you again!

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  14. I would LOVE to meditate but I don't think I'd even know where to start, there's always something to do isn't there? Which kind of defies the point in the first place. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

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