Mission Acceptance - Accept that love is an action


I've not been on the ball recently because all week I've been dragging around this stinking cold. You know the one that invades your head and creeps into your bones and makes every task feel like an obstacle task. I was not quite sick enough to duck out of my responsibilities but boy did I want to. 

My mission this week was to accept that love has to be invested in, it's an active process and something I might have to consciously work on. I'm not saying that being loving gave me a cold but it didn't help. As with everything amazing it was far more complicated than it seemed and I learned that love can be a tricksy little thing...

IT MIGHT NOT LOOK LIKE YOU THINK IT LOOKS I was committed to showing my son how much I loved him and in my head I envisioned a week of snuggles but I quickly learned that my son's snuggle capacity is far less than mine. Love looked like playing with his train set for several hours and singing many, many verses of Row Your Boat and although I don't always love doing those things, I did them with love. Today I was surprised with a record breaking fifteen minute cuddle whilst we watched TV and I really don't think it was a coincidence. 

YOU CAN SHOW LOVE WHILST YOU FEEL ALL THE BAD STUFF Showing love to someone wonderful is not such a hardship but doing the same with someone that makes you feel sad or angry is much harder. At one point I was upset with my partner for committing some unspeakable spousal crime and I was so tempted to skulk off and ignore him and read magazines in the bath but doing that wouldn't have been loving, so I made him a cup of tea (tea making is my husband's love language) and we had a chat and although the actions weren't congruent with what I was feeling, my anger quickly gave way to affection and respect. 

SOMETIMES LOVE HURTS Sometimes the most loving thing to do feels the hardest. During the week I had to have a frank and quite frankly uncomfortable conversation with someone that has not making the best choices for themselves. It would have been easier to avoid the issue and in fact I had been happily doing that for months, but it wasn't loving. They actually took what I was saying with a large amount of grace and I think that's because I expressed my opinion with care and not judgement. 

LOVING YOURSELF INCREASES YOUR CAPACITY TO LOVE I guess I thought that being loving was all about being completely selfless but being a martyr is not about love it's about ego. If you don't look after yourself, the joy, care and capability you can offer others is diminished. I over committed myself trying to be loving, so I ended up frazzled and full of cold and in the end no one benefited. So tonight I'm having a long bath, consuming a large pizza and enjoying the company of a great friend. I'm confident that this will replenish my love stores and next week, I'll be ready to love again. 


What was your biggest love lesson? 

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28 comments

  1. My greatest love lesson has been learning the difference between genuinely being in love with a person because I wanted to be with them and trying to convince myself that I am in love with a person just because I am frightened of being on my own.

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  2. I would say its recognising it's the little things that count, I'm much more bowled over little gestures that shows someone truly knows you!

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  3. Learning the difference between fancying someone and a true love.

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  4. Wow - IT MIGHT NOT LOOK LIKE YOU THINK IT LOOKS - this just resonate so much for me, so true. It's only now my son is coming up to 3 that he really wants to cuddle or feel the comfort that a cuddle can bring. Thank you xx

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  5. love this girl!! my greatest love lesson is dont try to change others. they are who they are for a reason and you should be accepting of it :)

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  6. Greatest love lesson is to be with someone that genuinely makes you happy and not just because you are afraid to be alone or hurting the other person

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  7. Probably to continue loving even though I might not feel like I'm being loved back.

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  8. Greatest love lesson ive had was from my mum,don't jump into anything too quickly,you may end up getting burned x

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  9. Probably that you shouldn't try to change someone to make them something they're not - learn to love someone just the way they are.

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  10. don't take anything too seriously

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  11. Playing hard to get is just game playing. If someone likes you they don't need the games.

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  12. don't change for someone, they need to accept you how you are.

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  13. You need to love someone for the person they are - faults and all!

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  14. To not try and rush into things and let them chase you so you know they are really interested x

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  15. Knowing the difference between Love & Infactuation

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  16. To not give love out to people who don't deserve your love

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  17. Telling the difference between love and lust

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  18. Having my children, there is so much love there.

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  19. Not to believe everyone who tells you they love you

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  20. That nothing very much matters if you don`t love anyone.

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  21. that nothing will ever come close to my kids

    ashleigh

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  22. My greatest love lesson is I've learnt not to try change others x

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  23. My greatest love lesson is to listen to your partner. Even if you are 100% sure something isn't correct - allow your other half to get a point or opinion out before giving yours.

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  24. Greatest love lesson at the moment: having a teenager that doesn't want too many cuddles... But still needing guidance from us. There are little ways he shows he still needs us xx cuddling the youngest 2 as much as possible coz they grow way too quickly!

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  25. Greatest love lesson - Love doesn't have an expiration date, it can happen at anytime, at any age, anywhere. <3

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  26. sometimes love needs compromises

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  27. Greatest love lesson I've ever been told is a life lesson too... If it feels right then do it!

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