Last week I talked about saying no. I'm not great at it but I want to be better. I think in order to do this I have to be kind and offer myself far less to say no to. It's like sometimes I ask my kid if he wants a snack and I can see his brain go, grapes! No rice cakes! No biscuit! No sweeties!* Thomas the Tank Engine! Park! Arrrrrgh! When I'm parenting in a more present way I'll say, 'Would you like rice cake or grapes?' Then my boy will reach for the grapes all, I got this.
It's not that I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I want. I wake up in the morning and dedicate an immense amount of time to deciding what I want for breakfast; I stay up late on ASOS thinking about what bikini I want for a holiday not yet planned. And a lot of the time when I see what I want, I recognise it, the problem is there seems to be a road runner sized chasm between where I am and what I want and I don't spend enough time thinking about the steps I need to take to that bridge that gap.
To help me with this, this week was all about working out where I was wanting. Every day I would write out my big, juicy goals and then underneath I would write down something I could do this month to help me get there and under that something I could do TODAY to get me there.
Par example:
GOAL: Feel good in my body and with my personal aesthetic
THIS MONTH: Practice yoga daily
TODAY: Read the book I bought on yoga
You see, I carry around with me the thought that I want to feel good in my body but I would never connect that to the action of reading my book. I would have spent the day feeling a bit peeved about the distance from my overall goal and instead I spent the day feeling great, because I had taken a step in the right direction. Writing my wants helped me to build a crazily focused to do list each day because I was basically saying if you could only do one thing today, what would it be?
This made it easy to say no to things because I knew what I wanted and because I always had a great excuse - my big goal. So if someone asked me to spend money I could say, I'm sorry I really want to be financially secure at the end of this year and it didn't even feel like an excuse, it felt authentic.
Here are some examples of my wants this week:
GOAL: Feel financially secure and take husband on holiday
THIS MONTH: Save a fixed amount
TODAY Open a new online savings account
GOAL: Feel consistently connected with my partner
MONTH: Spend more quality time together
TODAY: Cook dinner together
GOAL: Be a present and committed parent
MONTH: Have focused learning session every day
TODAY: Revise my sign language
GOAL: Feel productive, prosperous and professionally enriched
MONTH:Feel more confident promoting myself
TODAY: Wear a bright lipstick
And of course I kept seeing the same 'wants' repeated and that helped to remind me what my priorities are; the wonderful thing about having priorities is if you look after them, they look after you. So I'm not letting go of this mission yet, I still feel I've got so much to learn from it and anyway, I don't want to.
This is a great post! I'm a huge believer of goal setting and really like how you've broken this one down, i often get distracted or overwhelmed with my to do list but this is a really great way to prioritise.
ReplyDeleteI've also been thinking a lot lately about what makes me happy and what energizes me, i've come to a cross roads in my life where i need to figure out what i want to pursue and this Mission Acceptance sounds like a great way to keep me on track.
Thanks for sharing.
- Cydney x
P.S i came from the linky #marvmondays
DeleteThanks Cydney. Energised is such a great way to think about it, I'm going to consider that too. Like I love watching back to back episodes of The Bachelor but it doesn't leave me feeling very peppy!
DeleteLove this. What a great way to feel like you are achieving your goals without putting so much pressure on yourself. Fab idea xx
ReplyDeleteThanks! x
DeleteI like your little steps and they look achievable which is important. I hope you make your goals and don't stop dreaming the big ones or they will never happen. #TwinklyTuesday
ReplyDeleteGood point, hopefully I think little to think big!
DeleteGreat post! I really need to stick to my 2016 goals!! #abitofeverything
ReplyDeleteOoh anything exciting?
DeleteI love your system of making a goal, then making a plan for what you'll do about it this month and today. Sometimes I leave out the 'today' part and guess what? Nothing happens.
ReplyDeleteHa ha? Right. I'm good with tomorrow but it keeps getting away from me.
DeleteWhat a brilliant way to aim for your goals!I love it!!xx #abitofeverything
ReplyDeleteI like the step-by-step nature of this concept, which makes the goals seem much more attainable #abitofeverything
ReplyDeleteBaby steps! I love baby steps rather than radical overhauls that never seem to work as they don't take into account what people are actually like.
ReplyDeleteMake a long term goal - save more - and then baby steps towards it - open savings account and set up standing order for money to go into savings account! Win!
This is a great and timely post. I've just had a discussion on this with my work mentor and the steady small manageable steps approach you outline looks like a great way to make progress.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
#abitofeverything
I love this idea. Often I get overwhelmed by my big goals that you lose sight that it is small steps, not just giant leaps which will take you there. It is good to focus on one goal a day, that makes it tangible, real and achievable. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything
ReplyDeleteLove this! Its a great way to make sure you achieve your goals. Breaking them down into more manageable, small goals that will help you achieve your overall big goal is much more likely and achievable. Something I should definitely do more of myself :-) Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays! Emily
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely way to achieve your goals on a daily basis thats such a great idea to keep you motivated and it manageable. Sometimes goals can be huge and we just don't know where to start I like the idea of doing something every day to get there. Thanks for linking up to Share With me #sharewithme
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ReplyDelete