Mission Acceptance - Accept your green eyed monster



Last week I wrote about the things that I want and that lead me quite swiftly to thinking about the things that I want that other people already have. The majority of the time when I think of such things it's with warmth, and admiration, and totally got my sh*t together grace but from time to time and usually without warning it is with the misdirected rage also known as jealousy. 

My mission this week was to accept my jealousy, in order to do that I had to examine the experience I was having when I found jealousy taking hold. My plan was to confess my jealousy to the owner of whatever attribute or virtue I was after and try and find out if I was willing to do what it took to get there...

Very quickly I realised I covet something from every single one of my friends. I'm not in the habit of making friends with people that aren't ace, so this shouldn't have come as a surprise but blurting out the things you love about people all day, every day quickly becomes creepy and borderline predatory. 

I decided to put aside my jealousies about physical attributes because to be honest it was getting stupid and because I'm so inconsistent - when I'm wearing a strappy top I want small boobs, when I'm wearing something low cut I want a luscious cleavage. I put these feelings aside for a future mission on body acceptance. 

Early in the week I had a huge test as I was booked to hear the blogger English Mum speak at a Three Discovery event. I knew enough about her to anticipate feelings of jealousy - she has built a wonderful career that fits in with her family, in which she calls the perfectly instagrammed shots. As soon as I met her I recognised her as what I call a rules girl - these are women who implicitly know the terms and conditions of being really cool. They know when to dress down and when to push the boat out; they know when being late is expected and when it's rude. I always felt two steps and three trends behind those girls, it took me a long time to understand that they didn't know the rules, they made them. 

Anyway English Mum or Becky Wiggins is one of those girls - she was all perfect hair, soft grey jumper with just the right amount of slouch and of course beautiful blog. I braced myself...but nothing came. Not that I wasn't impressed with what I heard about how Becky had built a successful blog and business it was just didn't seem to be filling me with anything but excitement and ideas for my own! 

Thinking I had cracked this envy thing I was ready to ride out the rest of the week and then a beautiful pregnancy announcement popped up on my Facebook feed and then another and then another (seriously, is there something in the water) and for some reason each one was like a punch in the gut. I'm open about the fact that I'm not sure if I want another child but I'm damn sure I don't want to be pregnant again, so it seemed odd that these images would affect me. I studied the photos and realised that in all of them I was honing in on the adoring partner, what I craved was the connection that the pregnancy journey can bring. So I made the effort. I dumped the kiddo with Gma and booked in a date night with the old man and before the starters had arrived I'd kicked the green eyed monster to the curb. 

My conclusion is that jealousy feeds on inaction, the more I work towards my goals, the less energy available for feeling envious. Yes I'm going to accept my jealousy but I will treat it like an embarrassing uncle - it may be unavoidable but I'm going to keep it contained and not let it ruin my wedding (or something). 

I'd love to know if anything brings out the green eyed monster in you? If you want to join MISSION ACCEPTANCE you can sign up here

Check out the previous post for a giveaway.


Mummascribbles
Cuddle Fairy

21 comments

  1. I love your conclusion, I think you might be onto something. I think there is always someone we are striving to be like or compete with weather subconsciously or not and in a way it is a good thing as it motivates us, so long as it doesn't become an obsession. #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. Yes that's definitely my problem, I'm a closet obsessor!

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  2. Must say, I don't really do jealousy, especailly not of someone like Becky Wiggins who I think has worked incredibly hard for what she has so deserves it. I also avoid jealousy over my boob size bu avoiding strappy and low cut tops. #twinklytuesday

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    1. I'm jealous of your lack of boob angst ;)

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  3. Jealousy is a tricky one! I try to avoid comparing myself to anyone but myself - either I'm going to end up feeling like I don't measure up or like I'm doing better than the other person, neither of which are helpful or good feelings!

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  4. I love the sentiment that jealousy feeds on inaction. I think that's totally true. Like everyone, I definitely struggle with it. At the moment it's mainly focused on blogging; why has this or that person who's been blogging 10 minutes got more followers than me, etc, when what I should really be focusing on is action, and sorting out my own blog! #twinklytuesday

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    1. Blogging is a bamboozler because there are some people that get their hustle on but some people just explode like mushrooms. On that note, what is your blog? I always click through your link but I think cause it's blogger it goes to an old one...

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  5. Oh what a fantastic topic for a post! And such a honesty! Love the fact that you were so inspired by Becky - that's exactly what we should be by these people because that helps us flourish - jealousy just wears you down and is unproductive - well done you! #twinklytuesday

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    1. Thank you! I love this comment, I will try and use inspired much more - 'I am inspired by your shoes etc'

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  6. great discussion point - jealousy...horrid but real. I've just looked at one of the defined meanings and it can be fear or anxiety over the fear of losing something. Such a guttural feeling that it takes some work to push that away at times. I agree, we should turn our own attitudes around to see the best in all around us. Its a work in motion:)

    mainy - myrealfairy

    #bloggerclubuk

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    1. I'm starting to think that all the negative emotions are based around some twisted variation of fear. Thanks for your thoughts.

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  7. I think it is a great point you make the more we spend energy on our own dreams the less room we have for jealousy

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    1. Right? Jealousy is dreaming with bad PR

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  8. I must admit I do get jealous. A lot! But I don't really admit to it, just usually have a moan to my hubby or sister about whatever it is that has made me jealous, so I've let it all out and then I feel better! xx
    #twinklytuesday

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    1. I'm jealous you have someone to moan to! My husband won't let me :(

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  9. I've only just seen this and I must say I'm MASSIVELY flattered - weirdly, especially by the hair comment ahahah. It was so lovely to meet you. I'm a very nervous speaker and it was so nice to see you smiling and looking interested every time I looked up. Hope we'll meet again very soon :) big hugs xx

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    1. Ha ha ha! And so you should be, aren't we all just on a life long search for good hair ;) Thanks again for all the tips and tricks x

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  10. From the small boob/big boob beef, to the romancing of another's pregnant relationships, your words resonated with me. Moreso, they make me want to move in my own headspace and act, act, act. For I know how gross green eyes can be, and how little one can gain from standing still. It especially strikes me when you talk of envying English Mum's beautiful bod + blog when I can rightfully say I feel that about you, you gorgeous writer-woman with your gorgeous skin and your gorgeous blog (and I'll stop there 'else I enter Creepville, haha).
    Thank you so MUCH for happening on my site, as I know I've much to learn from you!

    X,
    Lace
    http://laceonlife.com

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    1. Bless you! You are such a beautiful soul, although this was already evident from your blog. I'm so pleased you're here. Let us jump on the train to Creepville together x

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  11. I think you make a great point about jealousy feeding on inaction. It can be tough when you see things others have that you'd love to have. But the thing about facebook & social media in general is that the glimpse we get into someone's life is shiny & nice looking. We don't get the full picture. Thanks so much for joining us at #bloggerclubuk

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