Last Sunday I asked my friend Adele to make me my favourite dessert - a beautifully light tiramisu made with lots of love and lashings of booze. She instantly agreed and added that she was pleased that I as finally asking for help. I was confused. Do I not reach out to others? If anything I thought I asked too much. I'm the non driver always bagging a lift; the the technophobe getting some poor soul to talk me through yet another iphone update but I'm open to suggestions and if I needed to try asking for a helping hand or two I was going to accept that. The mission was to ask someone for help everyday. It felt like quite an easy one, I pictured a week of lovely smiling minions carrying my bag.
I went through day one feeling great but I try as I might I couldn't find a single person willing to give me a hand. It's not like I was crying in a ditch or anything but no one was rushing to my aid at any point. The second day continued in much the same vein, I'd all but abandoned the mission when a man stopped me as I was bouncing Roscoe's buggy up some inconveniently located steps, 'Can I help you?' he asked. I was just about to wave him away when I stopped myself and gratefully allowed him to grab hold of the bottom of the buggy. To be honest it was pretty awkward and I spent the whole time anxious that the dude was gonna do his back in. This help malarkly wasn't all it was cut out to be.
The next day I decided to be creative and asked a friend to help me organise a night out. He did great, picking a fab venue and starting to spread the word but instead of feeling grateful I felt a bit antsy; I didn't just want to sit by a helpless bystander. I wanted to be in on the action. Despite asking for help I muscled in and started contacting people myself. I was the worst helpee in the world.
I was getting frustrated with myself. I couldn't ask for help if my life depended on it and then I thought maybe that's what I have to accept. It was quite wonderful really, I've always thought of myself as a little bit hapless and really quite needy, it was quite a revelation to know that maybe I had some stuff together, it takes strength to ask for help but it also takes strength to get up, get out and get it done all by yourself.
If you want to join Mission Acceptance you can sign up here.