Should I cut my four year old's hair?

Should I have cut my nearly 4 year old hair?? Some people think I'm odd for never taking her to the hairdressers (Including her dad!) - Kate 

The cliché of motherhood that I have found to be the truest is that it all goes so incredibly fast and the pace is made even more disorientating by the fact that there is so much to take in. You're changing daily, the kid is changing nightly; it became so intense at one point, I thought I was going to wake up to be greeted by Tom Hanks in a babygro. 

The worst thing about this is that we encourage it. Societal pressure and the inbuilt desire to see out children succeed sees us pushing the tot towards the next milestone with dogged determination - no sooner have they rolled we want them to crawl, they crawl we need them to walk and when it happens we sigh with relief, instead of bidding a fond farewell to the immobile days. 

What does this have to do with hair? Everything. Don't feel weird, hair is an amusingly common source of angst for mothers. I've known friends to cry hot, angry tears over some unwitting relative doing them a 'favour' by giving their cherub a trim, even when the tot was literally blinded by their overgrown fringe. For many of us, never is too soon for the first hair cut. 

My personal belief is because this is the only thing that we can leave unchanged without feeling like we're holding our child back. Those long locks are the very last piece of evidence that your baby is still your baby, in fact the hair on the end of those tresses is the very same hair that you stroked as you fed and comforted your newborn. 

Sometimes I think the early days is a bit scary for the parent that isn't the primary caregiver, particularly when a mother is breastfeeding. It's such an intense relationship, I imagine it can feel a bit isolating for the old man to be reduced to an in house jester/pizza delivery service. As your daughter has become older his role has been able to grow and solidify and become something just as special and unique as the one you have with her. I might be going a bit Freud here but it would make sense to me that he is eager to get rid of the last vestige of those baby days. 

So are you odd - no. Should you cut it. In my opinion yes. Partly because, who has time to braid three feet of hair every morning? And also because it's important for you to know that however high she grows and however far she roams, she will always be your baby. 

Kate makes the most darling handcrafted creatures over at her shop Grace and the Monkey


photo credit: ~ spa day ~ via photopin (license)


  1. I think that we are in such a rush to achieve that we fail to take in these amazing moments or celebrate they happened. I agree with you! As for hair cutting I can't say I worried about this at all but maybe that is because I have boys. Now when it comes to having my own hair cut - that is a problem. Perhaps I am hanging onto my youth?! 🌸

  2. Oh my do I relate to this post so much! I recently cut my sons hair short and gave him his "big boy" haircut. This had me so depressed for the weekend because my little boy didn't look like my little boy anymore and because it was such a big step towards not being a baby anymore. It was a really hard thing for me to deal with and in so many ways I regret the decision, even if it is much easier to maintain his hair now, especially since he doesn't like me to brush and condition it. #PoCoLo

  3. I never cut my son's hair since he was born too. But when he started school before turning 5 he ask for a haircut as he said that his classmates are teasing him that he is a girl. I have to do it not because Im giving in to bullies but because my son is in charge of his hair. I would want him to stand up against bullies but I really dont know how to talk to him about it at 4. I just told him that it should be what he want. On the bright side it is really easier to manage short hair. #pocolo

    1. Oh kids are ruthless sometimes. I hope he loves his new do.

  4. BB had her first hair cut at about six months old because it was poker straight and there was so much of it BUT I haven't had Little B's trimmed at the back yet because he's got beautiful baby curls and I don’t want them to disappear! #justanotherlinky

  5. Mine's almost five and has never had a haircut. I think that it's about time, my wife disagrees. Probably won't be a haircut in the immediate future...#justanotherlinky

  6. I'm 3 and only had my fringe cut should see my hair it's a crop of wild mess!! I have crazy hair but my mum loves the wildness!! ;) We can always cut it when I go to school!! #JustAnotherLinky x

  7. Oh, I can't remember the Tubblet's first haircut, but now she's 12 she does not want her hair cut at all. Because long hair!

  8. I think we place far too much emphasis on this stuff, as long as our babies are happy and healthy we should be able to raise them without fear of judgement. Whether it's hair cuts, new clothes, or soft-play, we should do what we WANT, and what we think is right for our little ones. I cut my boys hair, it often gets far too long before I do but I do it!
    Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo

  9. Good advice! I have never had my just turned 3 year old's hair cut (or the little one's), but for slightly different reasons. Her hair doesn't grow ever so fast and it is very, very curly. Realistically, I think she is going to need to have fairly long hair for it to be manageable, as it needs some weight to pull out the curls a bit. She is also clearly not going to be able to have a fringe without it being crazy. People do sometimes comment on her not having had a haircut, and it is JUST starting to get to the point of in her eyes. But I can't help but feel that cutting it for the sake of it would be counterproductive currently as she needs it to get to a manageable length (I know the thing about regular cuts & better condition, but I don't think her hair is heavily damaged at 3!). While it does reach below her shoulders when wet and combed out, when it's dry, the curl is so significant her hair is still nowhere near long enough to even put in a ponytail! So I have no plans to cut it. #PoCoLo

  10. I was so emotional at the boys first hair cuts and still am now as a haircut makes them look so grown up! Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx