Why three kids can be easier than one


Almost a decade ago my partner begged me to let us get a cat. I was dead against it. I knew it would be the classic case of him having all the fun and me doing all the work and I wanted to avoid that or at least delay it until parenthood. After a year or so he wore me down and I reluctantly agreed to adopt us a fur baby. At this point my partner informed me that some genius had told him that if you have one cat, you might as well have two - you already have all the paraphernalia, it's just one more fluffy creature to love; so we got the demanding Saffy and her independent sister Rosie and what I discovered was two cats just meant twice as much poop to scoop. I often think of this when people I know have two, three and four children - I've experienced motherhood, it's like a chocolate coated hell, why oh why would one make that more difficult? Eventually we decided that two cats was one cat too many for our small first floor flat and we gave Rosie to our mate's ex-girlfriend, where I'm told she lives a lovely life but it's not really practical to do that with children. Given this I reckon there must be a reason people keep popping out the sprogs, beyond some innate biological need designed to further the existence of humanity and I think this might be it - having more kids makes parenting easier! And here's why...

STUFF JUST HAS TO GET DONE. As I lay with my son for three hours as he sings 'Old McDonald' on repeat until he passes out from exhaustion, I wonder how parents with more than one child do the bedtime thing but the truth is they just do. They don't have a choice. You can't afford to pander to one child when his or her siblings also need your attention, the kid goes to sleep because other people have to go to sleep, that's just the way it is. Less indulgence, more independence can only be a good thing. 

YOU LEARN TO SAY NO. When you have one child you can sometimes get caught up in the belief that you should do everything you did before but with a child in tow. Sure I'll come to your wedding in the Outer Hebrides! Absolutely I have time to listen to you break down your seventy sixth break up from your sociopath boyfriend. When you have several children, the limitations of time and space mean you have to put boundaries in place and this means saying no. Saying no is like a muscle, the more you do it the better you get and soon you're finding yourself saying no on a daily and boy does it feel good. 

YOU LEARN TO PRIORITISE. It's a lot of hassle organising a big family, so it gets to the point where you only do things you only really have to do and by and large those things are the things that really enhance your life and so you find yourself living your best life.

YOU GET ORGANISED. If you want your children to enjoy all the wonderful stuff life has to offer you're gonna need to run a tight ship because play dates and parties and after school activities do not organise themselves. It feels really good for everyone to know what's coming and when but particular for the person that's supposed to make it happen.

YOU DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Sometimes we get it wrong but when you're a parent of more than one child you don't really have time to dwell on it because there's someone else that needs you, so you learn from your mistakes but there isn't time to dwell on them and this is good because wallowing in mistakes is not a fun time. 


Given the above this is what I plan to do, rather than have another child, I will behaved AS IF I have more than one child and in doing this I hope to beat the system! If you would like to practise your multi-child parenting skills, I have a tot you can borrow.

Cuddle Fairy
Run Jump Scrap!

Diary of an imperfect mum

37 comments

  1. Funny..:)I have two, and must say it is totally different than when haviing just one. it is true what you've written but I guess you just don't stress yourself so much, you go with the flow.. Otherwise moms with more then a couple of kids would go insane! And they look more relaxed than me!;)
    #bestandworst

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    1. I've heard more than once that one to two is hard and two to three is a breeze :)

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  2. I find having 2 in some ways has helped. For one the gremlin has started to play alone a little more - I am still playing with her but her entertaining herself does really help me. I also say no more and yep, you do have to be more organised!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

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    1. Thanks for hosting, I think also think the older sibling helps encourage the younger one, which is helpful1

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  3. I agree ! The more the kids, the easier it gets. I really want three and more but my pregnancies such so much I don't have the heart to go through any more. Yay for two adorable kids !!

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  4. I wish I would have another kido as I grew up with a sister and we kept each other busy.

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  5. I ahd six...it was never easier than one, but yes it does force you to organize and prioritize. And I agree with you, learning to say no is the key to maintaining sanity!

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  6. I'm sending this to my friend who is feeling a bit overwhelmed right now with three kids. This will inspire her :)

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  7. I definitely agree with this, I had 3 boys close together who were hard work but then 15 years later had a girl who is more work than they all were put together x

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  8. Girl. I'm one and done and can't imagine having more. =) I'm totally with you, though; I'm gonna ACT like I have 3 and try to get myself more organized and prioritized!

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  9. Lol!!! My mom did tell me that having 2 kids (my brother and me) was easier than just having 1 (me as the oldest) -- I think having more taught her how to chill a bit more about things hahaha! She was much easier on my brother than on me! I really don't know how you do 3! It's incredible xx, sharon

    http://www.stylelullaby.com/fashion/swoon-worthy-sweaters/

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  10. I'd have gone for the option of 3 if hubby and I had met when we were younger. I'm trying to persuade him to get another dog, but it's not working... won't let him read this! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

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  11. I have the two and I wouldn't have it any other way.
    You are right, organisation is key, especially if you want to leave the house before it goes dark hehe! :)

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  12. I have two, and I definitely find it harder than one. Sometimes they play together nicely, but it's usually interrupted with whining and screaming. I could see how three would be easier, though.

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    1. Ha ha! My sister went from two to three and barely noticed

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  13. NOWAY :P
    One is enough for me, anymore & I'd probably be in a heap crying!

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    1. Ha ha ha! Are you sure, you don't sound sure:)

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  14. Ha, true!! I had one baby and it seamed like hard work. By the time I have 4, it felt much easier and always someone to play with so I could do my jobs :)

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    1. Free babysitting pretty much the best reason for more kids. I am so bored of doing Row Your Boat x

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  15. Thanks for sharing this- right now I just have one child and sometimes its overwhelming to think of adding more!

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    1. Awww, if you decide to, you'll be grand!

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  16. Great post. I am a twin mum so I have always had 2.

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    1. Ooooh girl, now that's a whole different story ;)

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  17. Haha! To be honest I can't imagine coping with one so I wouldn't imagine how would I deal with three..

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  18. I have three and my life is total chaos, I remember the days of having one so fondly as it was so much easier. That being said what you have said is true, I worry less and I let things slide and I am more organised. Going from 1-2 was hard but 2-3 was easy xx

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    1. Ha ha! My sis said the same. You never know what you have til it's gone eh?

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  19. I found the transition from 2 to 3 kids the hardest as in comes middle child syndrome......anything more and its like 'bring it on' lol

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  20. This is so reassuring to read and remind myself of. I only have one at the moment and can't get my head around parenting multiple children but I would love to have more... I keep telling myself that other people do it so how hard can it be!?

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  21. This was such a nice read, I currently have 0 but have three cats and as far as they are concerned having 3 is no harder than having one that is for sure x

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    1. Yay for fur babies! I'm sticking with one cat, she's such a diva.

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  22. Every number of kids you have is harder in some ways and easier in others. I have 6 and we recently went out with a friend of mine who has one. She was shocked at how well he followed along and didn't wander off - because he was following the crowd! When I started walking and another person started following, they all came along because hey, the bus is leaving! So yeah, in many ways, it's easier. Or at least not exponentially harder.

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