Over at Channel Mum we've been talking about gender disappointment. Whilst this is not something I would wish upon anyone, I don't think it's so big a deal. I mean it's gender disappointment, not gender trauma. I felt disappointed on Thursday when I was informed that Starbucks have discontinued their Rise and Shine muffin but I tell you what, that was 48 hours ago and I'm over that shit.*
You too will get over any gender angst you have, primarily because gender is a construct. I appreciate that this is a very casual statement and perhaps an easy one for a cisgendered woman to make but simply for the purpose of discussing this topic I'm trying to make the point that you actually have a sex preference and if you start saying to yourself and others - I really hope my child has a penis, you'll realise how silly it is.
Have a good think about what you're so attached to. Do you want your girl to have long hair and wear cute clothes? My son has a head of bouncing curls, wears leggings everyday and looks like a rock star. You want a boy so he can play sports and rough and tumble? I mean have all those sanitary towel ads taught you nothing?
At the time that gender preference rears it's ugly head, it has nothing to do with your baby, he or she probably hasn't even developed sex organs yet! Of course it's all about you. In what ways did you feel limited by your gender? What negative experiences have you had with your less favoured sex? What messages from the world have you received about men and women? If you get to the root of these questions, you may find your gender goals shift dramatically. Now this is a case of do as I say and not as I do because I openly and ardently wanted a boy and what I got was a....ROSCOE. Or as his father described him recently a 'gorgeous, strange, train obsessed, beautiful, little bag of autistic joy'. And I wouldn't change that for the world.
If you have experienced or are concerned about gender disappointment please watch my video on why it's a good thing - I swear 'tis guvnor!
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