I write this from my death bed, okay from my sick bed, I'm just really, really rubbish at being sick. I spend the whole experience whinging about all the extraordinary things I could be doing if I were in good health and this time has been no exception. Rather than feeling grateful that a flu every couple of years is my greatest health concern and that I have two doting grandparents to keep the toddler away from my germs, I've been stressing about all the amazing things I coulda done to start this year with a bang. The problem is it was this kind of overreaching that got me here in the first place. I thought, yeah I can move house by myself and totally win at single parenting and work all the hours God sends and I'll be fine and I kept on being fine until I woke up on New Years Eve, Eve and my body said, 'who you kidding lady?' And I could not move. So since then I've pretty much been sleeping - I slept through the fireworks, I slept through whatever cliff hanger there was on Albert Square and I slept through most of the New Year, New Me declarations on the internet and it was okay. I still feel bad that I haven't got everything I wanted to do done and that if I have started as I will go on, I'm gonna spend 2017 dosed up on Night Nurse having weird dreams about feeding Aaron Taylor Johnson salami but I feel that what I have learned from this is that I need to do just a little more this year.
Love a little more: An extra cuddle never goes amiss, whether it's to a child or an animal or a friend. A kind word to a stranger or an uplifting message to a colleague, life feels better with a little more love.
Work a little more: I need to remember those big, hairy audacious goals can be broken down into little, far less intimidating ones.
Rest a little more: I sleep like a professional but I also need to make sure I am resting my mind and soul throughout the day. How many devices do I need whirring around in the background and how hard is it to ask for help every now and then for goodness sake!
Play a little more: I'll make a little time to explore and grow, learn about myself and the world around me but have fun doing it.
It might not sound like much but that's reassuring, I don't want to overwhelm my body or my mind. I'm sure I'll find that a whole lot of littles will add up to a lot.