A new kind of happy


I said it to N because N is the sassiest, most cut through the crap person I know. We were lying in the sunshine, doing nothing together in the way that only really good friends can, and I said,

'I've not told anyone this and I know I'm gonna sound like a nob but I can't stop thinking about the fact that I had everything I ever wanted. I had the man and the baby and the house by the sea and now it's all gone.' She turned to me and smiled, which seemed like an odd reaction, but then she said,

'You did and you can have it again if you want, or you can have a new kind of happy.' For the first time in a long time I felt okay. I felt more than okay, I felt excited because the only thing better than having what you want is working towards what you want, when you know what that is. 

If you focus on what could have been - the one that got away, the dreams that stayed in your head - you'll die with what ifs instead of the life you've lived. Watch any child transform an empty toilet roll into a spaceship and you'll know that life is malleable; the breadth of your imagination is your only limitation. 

So this year I'm going to find a new kind of happy and I think you should too. The baby that wasn't to be and the job they wouldn't give you, maybe they were making way for another adventure, with a not yet imagined outcome. I want you to try to remember that because when he stands at my door and hands me the child we made, I'll be trying to remember it too.


photo credit: Leonard J Matthews ready via photopin (license)

8 comments

  1. How lovely sometimes you need someone to give u a new and fresh prospective of things.

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  2. That's such a great way of looking at things, and one which I can relate to. When my second son died I thought I would never be happy again, but I did find a new way to be happy and sometimes that's exactly what you have to do.

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  3. What a beautiful and moving post and great outlook from fresh eyes. xxx

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  4. Your friend sounds very wise. I'm the sort that always looks back, and rarely forward, and trying to change my perspective

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  5. This is such a positive inspirational post, I really need to start thinking more like this myself at times xx

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  6. I love this post and I needed to read this today. I believe in fate and live by the motto that what's meant for you won't pass you by, but I think finding a new kind of happy is a brilliant thing to do and seek for x

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  7. This is the way I tend to look at things now. Whenever things have gone wrong, there always seems to be something better around the corner

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  8. This is a good way to look at things, when at the time things can seem bad. Thank you for sharing!

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