Is it possible to fall in love more than once?


What is love? (Baby don't hurt me.) One person's love is another's tolerance; yet another's infatuation. I remember those girls that got engaged in sixth form college and were utterly convinced, despite all evidence to the contrary, that they had succeeded in finding the love of their life and that as luck would have it he attended the boys school down the road. When I was sixteen I had the soul of a wizened, cynical divorcee and silently mocked their life plans. Now that I am a wizened, cynical divorcee I think, who am I to judge? 

Many people argue that until you meet THE ONE, that great love, anything before is practice; a kind of love proxy as you bide your time waiting for the real thing but honestly I think all love, even the so called real thing, is simply an evolutionary advantage that stops society unravelling into a mass of writhing bodies. This thing called love is a psychological cage of our own making and that's not a bad thing. On some level we all desire to be contained; love keeps us safe. And luckily I think we can have an infinite number of cages, such is the capacity for love. Ask anyone with more than one child if they have enough to go around - the heart just expands like a balloon. But I don't think you mean bog standard, I'd sacrifice my life for you love, you mean romantic, often sexual love - the good stuff. 

Can this kind of love occur more than once? In my opinion, yes but not always in exactly the same way. Think about eating the same meal every day for a week, the experience wouldn't ever be exactly the same. Some days you'd overcook the veg; on others you might be famished and this would make the meal more satisfying. The food is the same but you are different. This ties in with a theory I've heard that everyone gets three great loves. The first is that crazy, passionate, infatuation based one, usually with a really painful ending. The second is a love that teaches you about yourself and what you need from a partner and the third is a meeting of two people who understand themselves and each other and have learned patience and acceptance from the previous two relationships. What in life do you get right on the first try? Nothing worth having. So, is it possible to fall in love more than once? Perhaps not but I urge you to try. 

3 Little Buttons
Confessions of a New Mummy
Cuddle Fairy

45 comments

  1. Of course it is. You love your children the same. You loved your parents. You can fall in love and it's not even true love. It's still that hard and fast emotional roller coaster. And some people meet 'the one' and then he dies or leaves or whatever, and then out of no where, they meet 'the one' who is different. And some people never fall in love. #TwinklyTuesday

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  2. Sorry wife, I'm going to have to divorce you ... I think there might be another one to try!!! Who knows? I think I will stick though! Lol #DreamTeam

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  3. I'm lucky enough to be with the same Man 25 years on, but the love for each other and our six kids has to split many ways, I see it as something that grows each time it splits. I do believe anyone can find love more than once though, in whatever form it takes. #DreamTeam

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  4. If single well of course it is. If married hopefully you don't put yourself in that situation. If divorced or widowed of course you can fall in love once again.

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    1. And perhaps, if married, you can fall in love again with the same person?

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  5. I am one of the weird people that knew I would marry my husband the day I met him. I have loved in the past but not like this. #twinklytuesday
    Tracy www.viewfromthebeachchair.com

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  6. I have not heard of the 3 loves theory before but it makes sense to me. I fell in love hopelessly but completely aged 19 and loved him even when not in the same place as him for about 30 years. I got married in the meantime and I think you read about that on my blog today and I have definitely learned a lot about myself in that process. And as it goes, I have now noticed someone else who I think would make a great match for me but perhaps I am not brave enough to try or change things so much #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. I do think after you get to know yourself you are drawn to people who make good matches for you. And it's not always necessary to be in a relationship with those people - love takes many forms. Excuse me for ramping up the cringe factor but I think the most important love story is with yourself x

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  7. Your initial flirtations are a direct result of Infatuations, rather than true love. True love is unhinged, unconditional and something different. It is not only restricted to physical love, but all that makes you complete. Not something half-hearted.

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    1. Absolutely, the more you give the more you get 😊

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  8. I think it is possible and is actually very normal.

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  9. True love only happens once. ... People can argue and say that this is crazy because they have had experiences of falling in love more than once but maybe you were never in love or the feeling wasn't mutual because if two people fall in love with each other then it is almost impossible for them to fall out of love.



    P.S I do not believe in love.

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  10. Woah! You got deep, sis - I like it :)

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  11. I think so! It's silly to think there's only one person for you. Granted, if my husband and I don't make it, I don't think I'd have the energy to date.

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  12. I do agree that you can fall in love more than once. I have and each time I learned something new in life but more importantly, something new about myself. I am not interested in being with anyone though because I just don't have time for all that (and am not willing to give my time) but if that changes down the road and I meet someone who lives up to my standards then maybe. I also believe that as you said in another comment, the best love story is really with yourself.

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  13. PREACH! You should never be in a relationship for the sake of it, only when you have the time, energy and desire for it. But you know what they say about relationships, as soon as you're not looking for one...

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  14. You're allowed 3 great loves in life ~ A Bronx Tale.

    It definitely is. I can honestly say I was in love 3 times in my life.

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    1. Oh, is that where it's from! Thanks.

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  15. I think you're definitely allowed to love more than one person in your life. As you grow, you learn to love differently.

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  16. I know you can fall in love loads of times. First love is still love, and even if you love someone briefly, it still counts :)

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  17. Aaaaw I really loved this post. I consider myself as an endless romantic. I do believe that we experience different kinds of love. We change constantly, so I guess that our emotionally needs change as well. Love is love, it doesn't need justification. <3

    XO
    Candace
    http://www.thebeautybeau.com

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  18. I think love can be felt many times in our lives, always powerful, but different with every person.

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  19. This is such a wonderful post. There are many faces of love and many ways to love. Very inspiring and insightful.

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  20. Nice Haddaway reference ;-) The concept of love is so important and so often mis-defined. Everyone should be more open about love. You are totally on the right track.

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  21. I believe that you can fall in love more than once! I have been in love twice and hopefully there is a possibility of a third time?? I think each person is different though!

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  22. I think love for every person is a little bit different. You can be in love many times, but none will be exactly the same.

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  23. I totally believe you can fall in love more than once, if you have children you fall in love with them, you may even have a new partner.

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  24. When I was 13, I dated a guy (who was also my first kiss) and thought that I was going to marry him and grow old together. Welp, we broke up after 6 months of dating so there goes that. But I do believe everyone can find true love but it's going to take patience.

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  25. I believe so! I think it is impossible not to fall in love more than once. It is nto like our hearts have a limit or a cap. I have had a few serious relationships in my life and although they did not work out it was not due to lack of love.

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  26. I think it is possible to think that you have fallen in love several times, but it is not until you have found your soulmate that you realize what true love really is.

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  27. I believe it is. I know there’s different types of love. But as far as in love with a significant other, I believe it can happen more than once.

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  28. I am a great believer that you can fall in love more than once, because if not then what about those who got it wrong but thought they had found it?

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  29. Love I think can be in different planes. you can fall in love more than once but I am sure the intensity will vary :)

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  30. Yes it is possible. I agree a 100%

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  31. Good thought here for sure. Thanks for your honesty in sharing!

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  32. Of course it is, and you explained why in your post... we are constantly changing and becoming a new person with different needs and wants. This new person can fall in love in just the same way as the old one. The challenge in life is to continue to fall in love with the same person as you both change.

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  33. Married for 14 years and I must say my love for my husband has grown stronger. Perhaps it's because we have grown so much as people. Don't know if I would love anyone the same if something should happen to my husband. Perhaps I would fall in love again but it will not be the same as the love I'm currently experiencing #twinklytuesday

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  34. Such an interesting question! And one I suspect had no right or wrong answer... #DreamTeam

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