I was once on a train from London to Brighton; in the seats
across from me was a small family, looked like a mother, father, grandmother
and the cutest, wide eyed little girl. It looked like they were on a day trip, they
were surrounded by back packs and shopping bags. They spoke in a language foreign
to me but the tone and rhythm of family chatter was instantly recognisable as
was the sense of urgency as without warning they began changing seats and
clawing through their bags. Eventually the father let out an exclamation of
triumph and held a potty aloft, within seconds the girl was stripped and seated
and her carers clapped as she relieved herself in the aisle. It was a bit gross
but also very impressive, the commitment to her training but also her ability
to perform under pressure. This is the kind of mindset that get’s toilet
training completed swiftly, to prioritise poop above all else.
But not all of us have time to dedicate to the ones and twos
even though it’s high on a lot of parental agendas. Research suggests that
children are now getting toilet trained almost two years later than they were
fifty years ago. Don’t listen to your elders, this is not because parents today
are too indulgent it’s because parents across the ages have opted for the easy
life. Fifty years ago, nappies meant leaks, washing, drying and discomfort for
all parties, now nappies are so hi tech it’s sometimes hard to tell if anything
has happened. Additionally, the increase in working mothers (Yay!) means that there
is often less time to dedicate to training and time is really all you need. So
you need to work out how you prefer to spend your time.
Are you a hincher? Do you like to clean little and often, do
you enjoy dedicating a particular night to your favourite hobby? Is your
Christmas shopping finished by November? You are a slow and steady trainer. Introduce
the potty gently, leave it in the bathroom, real casual and start some
conversations about how cool potty time is. Offer your child frequent opportunities
to sit on the pot and throw a parade if anything, anything at all happens in
there. Hope that the kid catches on that nappy poops are a lot less fun.
Do you prefer to wait until your house resembles a jumble
sale before deep cleaning? Did you binge watch the latest season of Orange is
the New Black? Do you end up buying birthday presents because you forgot to
post a card? You need the potty boot camp. Three to four days with a free
bottom and a lot of disinfectant is generally enough to get your child down
with the programme.
Summer is the season for washing soiled clothes, so choose
your weapon wisely. Remember the vast majority of children are potty trained by
four – all you need is time.