Bucket list - a storage space for dreams

In my early twenties I moved from Birmingham where I had been studying and working for six years back to my home time of London. I missed my family and friends and the comforting constant of noise pollution but in order to gain those things I had to be willing to give something up - space and lots of it. I had collected quite a lot in my first years adulting and in those pre Kondo days I felt anxious about letting them go. Luckily my cosy new flat was a stones throw from a Big Yellow Storage and I nabbed one of those metal boxes as my oversized wardrobe space for the next five years. Aside from the monthly direct debit I pretty much forgot about my trove until another five years passed and I it came time to move again. When I finally returned to my storage box I looked upon the mish mash of Ikea furniture and old CD's and saw it for what it was - crap. Almost everything went directly from storage to the tip. I didn't want any of it; I certainly didn't need it and I didn't think about that box until a couple of weeks ago. 

I was talking to a friend and the subject of bucket lists came up. She told me that at the very top of hers was a sky dive. I'm not sure why one would make skirting with death a goal but each to their own. I asked her why she hadn't yet done it. She pointed to the cost. I eyed up her designer handbag and suggested she put a bit aside for a few months. She uhmmed and ahhed and mumbled that she would rather raise money for charity. I wasn't convinced. Maybe she wants to skydive, maybe she simply likes the idea of being an adventurous person, whatever the case placing it on her bucket list means she doesn't have to work out the answer - it's a storage space for her dreams. 

And that's OK, if you want to forget about the them. If you're a parent you might be reading this thinking, it's all good because I don't have time for dreams. But the problem with storage is you pay a price. It might not feel like a lot but each month there is a direct debit from your sense of self. When you design a bucket list, you're sort of saying that the items on it will complete you and for the time they remain there collecting dust, you tell yourself you are incomplete. It's a new year and time I usually think about making grand plans and reaching new highs but my this time I'm going to do things differently. I'll pick one goal and start working towards it, maybe I'll succeed; maybe I'll decide I don't really need it but then it will be gone and I'll be off to the next, like a bucket list without being reminded of my mortality and adding more admin to my life. These days, I don't have the headspace. 


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