Do relationships have a best before date?


I'm very cynical about supermarkets - the bright lights that blind us from the ridiculous profit margins and the manipulative displays that lead us to a trolley full of three for twos; that's why I am totally cavalier about sell by dates. You may want me to buy it by the fifth Mr Sainsbury but that will not dictate when I eat it. I'd rather trust my eyes, my nose and my taste buds. Aside from an unfortunate incident with a sausage sandwich circa 1999, this methodology has seen me well and saved me many pennies; also each time I flout the rules I enjoy the sense of rebellion. Here's the thing, best before dates are more of an art than a science - one woman's spoiled meat is another's slow roasted stew and the same is true for relationships. Recognising the end of a relationship is as much about the individual as the state of the relationship. I love Gretchen Rubin and her wonderful categorisation system of personality types. She suggests that an upholder accepts rules and is the sort of person who keeps New Years resolutions; a questioner questions rules and accepts them only if they make sense; a rebel flouts rules and resists control and an obliger accepts outside rules. How can an individual personality type effect a relationship? Simply put, have you ever tried to complete a Rubix Cube? Did you toil away until you had that sucker completed or did you chuck it in a corner the minute things got difficult? Neither option is correct, the right choice is the one that brings you the most peace. 

There are a few key times when you must end a relationship - if experiencing abuse or neglect or repeated betrayals but outside of those situations when is the right time to call time? A quick survey of my mates didn't make things any clearer. 

'When things feel bad more often than they feel good.'

'When I'm no longer learning about myself or the other person.' 

'When I start noticing other people in a sexual way.' 

'I have no idea. I always let the other person end it.' 

That being said none of the people questioned regretted the time they spent with previous partners, there was always something to learn about themselves and about the world, things that made their next relationship far better. In short, aside from those rare unperishable unions, most relationships have a best before date because we change and our needs change and that's a lot to put on one person for a life time. If you're asking yourself this question your relationship best before date may be fast approaching and if the contents of that relationship are putrid and slimy, if you wouldn't serve it to a friend or loved one, please throw it away but if it's just a bit tired or wilted, add some spice, make a stir fry and enjoy what you have while you can.

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